Thoughts from last Wednesday (2010-05-05)
I’m going to start off just trying to type
here.
I’m experimenting with the differences between
a typewriter and a computer. On the typewriter I
find it comfortable to look at the keys, but on a
computer keyboard I find it much more comforable
to look at the text that I’m typing. I
don’t know if that’s becasue of the
structure of the keyboard, or something else. On a
typewriter the keyboard is inclined enough that
you can actually see all the keys pretty easily
even when you are typing. But on a computer
keyboard, the keys are covered by your hands so
that much of the keyboard is hidden. Thus there
isn’t an easy way to tell what keys you are
actually hitting from looking at the keyboard
while you type. It’s actually easier just to
watch the screen and see from that what key
you’ve hit.
On the typewriter this morning I was having some
amount of fun trying to type while not looking at
thie keyboard. I think that is still actually a
fun thing to do, but I find that I don’t trust
myself as much on a computer keyboard as I do on a
typewriter. It’s a little harder to feel
exactly what I am doing and which kyes I’m
actually hitting. So far I don’ty mind it, but
I’m not actually sure that it makes sense for
me on a continued basics to try to write wrihout
looking. I knhow that I make more mistakes when I
am not looking, and that it’s harder for me to
correct them – in fact I am not going back to
correct anything when I write like this. I
don’t even know whether I have or haven’t
made mistakes.
I don’t know why I don’t have more trouble
with the apostrophe which is different on the
computer keyboard and the typewriterrs I have. For
some reason it doesn’t actually cause me
trouble that it ieems to be in different places on
the two forms of keyboards. Somehow I am able to
not get confused and still keep on writing at a
pretty good pace even with the differnce in
placement.
Lord Jesus, I love you, I want you in my life. I
long to see you more than I do, and to be faithful
to you in my walk and in my life. Thank you for
saving me and for making me a member of your
people and your body. Thank you that you have
rescued me from this world and from all the ways
that I have led myself into trouble. Thank you for
saving me and delivering me from my enemy and the
enemies of my soul. Thank you that you have been a
friend to me and a friend to my soul. Thank you
that you have not left me an orphan, but came to
me and rescued me and adopted me into your family
and into your kingdom. Thank you Jesus that you
are a good king and a great Lord. You are the one
that I would want to follow out of all the leaders
in the earth and the heavens. Thank you that you
came to rescue me and to give me a place amoung
your own.
I don’t know if writing this way if I’ll
be able to resist the temptation to try to see how
much I have written. I don’t know if I need to
resist it. I think in some ways, it’s cool
that I can’t see how much I’ve written. It
helps to avoid the writer’s block effect of
the blank page. But on the other hand, I begin to
get nervous after I have typed a while that I want
to see whether I’m making any kind of
progress – which seems to be
correlated to length in my head.
I wonder if when I get that feeling, if I would
just stop, clear the line, and rest for a moment,
and then begin again anew, if that would help deal
with that feeling. It may be that the feeling
comes from pushing too hard, and trying to keep
words flowing beyond the point that there is any
need to.
One other thing is that this is just supposed to
be a place where I can type my thoughts, not that
it has to be a place that I fill with an endless
stream of drivel.
I think I have eaten too many carrots this
morning. They are making me feel a little queasy,
and that makes me not want to do anything.
One thing that I don’t know how is going to
effect me is the feeling that my thoughts are just
kind of going directly down a hole where I
can’t see them anymore. Although in actuality
I will be able to see them quite easily when I
decide to. Maybe that contributes to the feeling
of wanting to look at how far I’ve gotten in
terms of writing.
I would be curious to know just how much writing I
produce during a day if I am constantly writing.
I don’t know if I like writing the hard parts
of a mystery story. Writing about death isn’t
fun. Bringing death front and center to be the
main focus isn’t fun. But it is powerful, and
it is real. It just needs to be made manifest that
it isn’t the final end. But that makes it more
disturbing in some cases, rather than less. it
depends on what happens after death. A life that
is cut short, that sends a soul to final judgement
that had not make peace with God, that is a
tragedy. Although there are times for judgement in
this world, and a life that had done horrible
things – it might be right to take out of the
world. But a life that is cut short without the
final chance for repentance provokes sadness. But
everyone has the chance for repentance
always. Almost none of us come to that final
moment without at some point having had the
opportunity to address ones state before God.
When Jesus said, Do you think that those on
whom the tower of siloam fell, do you think that
they were worse sinners than you? No, but I say to
you that unless you repent, you will all likewise
perish. That indicates our lives are all
subject to end, we don’t know when that end
will come. So don’t delay in making things
right.
I think maybe that’s what Jesus is talking
about when he says agree with your adversary on
the way, before you get to the judge, because once
you get to the judge, you will be forced to pay to
the fullest cent.
[The thought box is the little one line text
field that I use for writing currently – it’s
just a way I’ve configured my text editor – It
seems to dramatically help me with being able to
write without experiencing "writer’s
block.]
I have thought about calling the thought box the
pensieve after the Harry Potter books,
but that might be a little esoteric to anyone not
familiar with those books. And in this case it
doesn’t capture memories, but just running
thoughts. For me to capture memories in it, I
would have to think about those memories in verbal
form, which is actually kind of hard to do as
I’m reading the text I’m writing.
If I were going to actually try to notate
memories, I might have to try not to look at the
text I was producing.
I don’t really want to be working on anything
more today – but there are things that I really
should be working on, that I don’t know
whether there is any way to get out of.
So far trying to do remote administration through
emacs is a bit more awkward than just logging in
through putty and running the programs directly on
the server.
I’m thinking about the fact that I really
don’t have anything prepared for the meeting
tonight.
I’m about ready to go, so I guess I’ll
probably shut down this buffer in just a few
minutes.
Random Thoughts from last Tuesday
If this is just my buffer for all my random
thoughts today, will I actually use it for stuff
or will I just end up writing random stuff
elsewhere?
I’m not sure whether it really matters whether I
use emacs or vim for text creation, and really for
text editing, vim and emacs with viper mode are
essentially the same. The only real difference I
notice is when I am trying to navigate source
code, vim has some features that are currently
easier and more reliable than it seems like the
equivalent viper/emacs features are.
One of the problems with stream of consciousness
typing is that I get into loops that don’t really
go anywhere.
I love you God. I am so thankful that you are in
my life, in my heart and in my soul. I am grateful
that you have taken me out of darkness and given
me new life. I am grateful that you did not leave
me in the mess that my pride and arrogance had
created. I am grateful that you have taught me
humility and goodness, and that those are more
valuable than all the greatness that I longed for
before.
I am grateful that your life is so good that you
were willing to give of yourself to help me. I am
grateful that you did not leave me alone to fend
for myself in this world, but you were willing to
come into my world and do what it took to help me
out of the mess that I had created.
I am thankful for all your grace in my life and
all the ways in which you were willing to deal
with me with kindness to bring about the grace of
God in my life. Thank you Lord that you were
willing to give everything to bring about the
situation where you could gain me and all those
others like me that you have saved.
I don’t really know whether there
is anything to recommend vim over emacs just
for writing. Once stuff is down, if I wanted to go
back and edit it, I think I would probably prefer
one to the other, with the default going to Vim at
this point, but I’m not sure. Maybe if I were more
competent with Emacs, I would begin to prefer it
for the editing.
I don’t really know whether it makes much
difference where I type stuff since I can pretty
much make emacs and vim behave similarly enough
that it doesn’t make a difference to me.
given that, I’m not sure that there is really any
difference except from the standpoint of what to
do after stuff is finished.
There are really only two real differences I can
detect between emacs and vim at this point for
what I am trying to do. One is that emacs can be
made transparent. The other is that vim seems
slower sometimes, and seems to hang once in a
while when it updates something. Otherwise it
really is almost indistinguishable after a little
bit of work to make them behave similarly.
The advantage that emacs has over vim, is that
other emacs funtions are available and the same
emacs instance that is open on the buffer, can be
used to do other things also, and still refer to
that buffer as necessary. The advantage of vim is
that it can be expanded to full screen and then
all the vim standard editing commands can be
utilized.
I think that for this kind of thing, it
makes sense to use emacs, because I really don’t
need vim’s editing capabilities, and it seems
useful to only have one editor that I am trying to
use.
One thing I think that I like about emacs, is that
it really is more configurable, so as my tastes
change, I can move things around and still use
emacs, where with vim, it contains more
functionality out of the box currently, but really
isn’t that configurable, at least not for
me. Every time I have tried to configure it beyond
it’s basic nature, at some point it starts to feel
clumsy also, like I’m just bolting things
on. Emacs feels more seemless when things work,
but it feels like it’s more work to get things to
the point where they are working. Vim has more
functionality out of the box, and is easier to
configure for small changes, but once you try to
do major things, you run into it’s limitations.
I still think Vim’s actual editing commands are in
general cleaner and better, but for just writing,
I don’t really need those. It’s only when I’m
doing editing or text transformation that those
things really come in handy. But for just writing,
they are really pretty equivalent for me right
now. Given that, emacs has some advantages just
from the standpoint of doing other things also. It
has a fairly mature file manager in dired. It can
connect to other servers better than vim’s netrw
capabilities. It has a sql client that I use
regularly.
That said, it is usually a bit of a hassle to get
anything new working on it. I can usually expect
to spend at least a day playing around with stuff
to get to the point where I have all the magic
right to get a new thing working. And there are
frustratingly many things that almost work, but
not quite.
This is in contrast to vim, where like I said, I
don’t even bother trying to use most plugins,
because I’m so used to plugings not working or not
really adding anything valuble. On the other hand
Vim had <em>almost</em> everything I need built
in. Certainly everything for text- editing. It
doesn’t have a good shell, but neither does Emacs
on Windows really.
I was just able to control vim from emacs through
vim’s remote-send command. That could make
things pretty cool if I can get it to somehow work
with emacs.
I don’t really know when or if I will actually be
able to do all the stuff I want to do as far as
writing. The whole, stream of consciousness thing
is not all that wonderful as far as producing
quality. I think that there is a lot that I would
like to write, but I am not at all sure that what
I have to say without actually thinking about
stuff is really worth reading. I am wondering how
much I could actually write if I just wrote
whatever came along for as long as I could stand
to type. I think that this would enable me to put
a lot of words on the page, but I am really not
conviced that it would make anything worth
reading.
Why is self-control not legalism? I am glad it is
not, but how is self-control different from
ascetism. How is self control different from
self-denial? I don’t know that I totally
understand the differences. One is a work of the
Holy Spirit. The other tends to be a work of the
flesh, although even self denial can be from the
Lord if it is in the process of us doing the right
thing or learning how to deal with a lack in our
lives.
I wish that there were a command line version of
the bible for Windows. I wonder how hard it would
be to make one. I don’t think it would really be
that hard. I could probably do it reasonably
easily. I wonder whether it would be better for me
to learn how to do it in C, or to take the quick
and easy route and do it in tcl. It would probably
be very easy to emulate the kjv bible that is on
Ubuntu in tcl. It might not be quite as fast, but
I bet it would be fast enough, and with the bible,
you spend most of your time reading and not
searching. So I think it would be ok.
Jesus, help me to know what to do with my life and
the abilities you have given me. Help me to be for
your kingdom and useful for your kingdom. I want
to be able to be a good and faithful servant. If
there is a way for my life to be for the good of
many, I would like that to be the case. How much
will I have to sacrifice to be able to help
others? How do I gain that which I will need to
sacrifice?
How do I gain the provision to be able to work on
the things that I think are useful?
I think it would be useful to have a variety of
bible software: a website for the creation of
custom bibles, bible programs on the iphone, ipad
and possibly android devices – bible software
for computers.
I think I could do all of those things, but how do
I do that while trying to make a living?
How do I both have a family, make a living, do the
work of God on a personal level, and make things
that will enable the word of God to be more easily
found and used?
I think there is vast room for improvements in
Bible study software. I don’t know how to navigate
the publishing world though to bring my ideas to
pass.
I don’t know whether publishers would welcome my
ideas, or find them a threat.
Here is my little writing place – this is the
place where I write
The Lord is good. He is faithful. He is
wonderful. Jesus is the most good in all of
creation. He is very good. He is both great and
good. He is great because He is good. God was so
pleased with His goodness that He made Him to be
the greatest in all creation. He raised him up and
gave him a place that is above every name, above
every person, every thing that is in all creation,
both in this world and in that which is to come.
Jesus is wonderful, and He is worth trusting
totally. He is the best and most good in all of
creation. He became the fulness of God in human
form and He became one of us so that He could feel
what we feel and experience what we experience, so
that He could be a faithful high priest, able to
intercede for our weaknesses. He is a good God and
a faithful friend. What other god in any religion
has made themselves known in that way? What other
religion has presented a god of goodness like our
Lord? Where else could one look for such a God as
we have? This is a God that is out of human
understanding. When one looks at all the religions
that have come about in human history, none
display the combination of majesty and humility
that is evident in the truth that is in Jesus. He
abounds beyond our imaginations. He is wonderful
and good and true. He is full of goodness and full
of truth and full of blessing. He is full of
blessings for us. He is full of desires to see us
prosper. He is a good God. He is a good friend. He
is a friend that was willing to lay down His life
for His friends. That is the definition of love –
the greatest love – that one would lay down his
life for his friends.
Jesus is our best friend. He is the best friend
you could have. He is both the best in the since
that He is the best, most good, greatest in all
creation, and he is our friend. He is our best
friend in that He was willing to do beyond our
other friends were willing to do – He was willing
to die for us, and to suffer all the pains of the
punishment for our sins, so that we could be
free. That is a best friend.